Dear Sir,
Or should I say-
To Whom It May Concern,

(does anyone use ‘whom’ anymore?)
(And are you really all that concerned?)

I appreciate your kind-
no, thoughtful-
no, condescending-
epistle
letter
note,
that you must have spent agonizing hours-
a few minutes-
a second-
to construct.

I have considered your tempting (not really)
offer
and have decided
to answer-
ignore-
shred
all evidence of this important-
valuable-
ridiculous-
matter.

And instead,

I shall take my straw hat and gloves,
whistle for the dog,
and he and I will spend the afternoon
in the garden
visiting with the bleeding hearts and columbine
and writing love letters to the bees.

Yours Truly,