1001 Things that Make Me Happy

1)

I’m making a list of 1001 things that make me happy.
Because somewhere along the road,
I have forgotten how.
To be happy.

Its not your fault.
I would not have you back
To suffer the indignities of the last two years-
The bed, the diapers, someone washing you and feeding you,
Bob lifting you up because your legs forgot how to hold you.
We held you
and I would not change a thing.

I don’t grieve your death
Only your absence.

I want to remember your eyes and hands
And that you were ready for fun and ice cream and new birds calling to you from the cedars
And the sound of your voice singing
and laughing.

And laughing with Daddy laughing.
And laughing when we were all laughing.
And singing and laughing.

This makes me happy.