My love is like a red, red nose
That drips in the month of May.
(Well, now that is not attractive.)

My love is like a green garden hose.
(What the heck!)

My love is like a man that hoes
the long, hard row
to Tipperary.
(Good grief, where did that come from?)

My love is like a Reb that rows-
(Well, he is from North Carolina but he hates the water.)

(For Heavens sake!)

My love is like a man that arose
To hoe the garden, row by row,
Cultivating the greenest spring,
To wreath the head of his May Queen
With rose on rose on rose on rose.

*** a bit of nonsense to lighten the mood, with a nod and a wink to Burns!