I cultivate clouds
raking them just so
into rows of wings
and birdsong
I cultivate clouds
raking them just so
into rows of birds
and wing song (revised)
I cultivate clouds
raking them just so
into rows of wings
and wind song (revised)
I cultivate wings
raking them just so
into rows of clouds
and wind song (revised)
I cultivate winds
raking them just so
into rows of birds
and cloud song (revised)
thecourseofourseasons 
What a wonder to be cultivate clouds and wings.. but always pruning to perfection.
what fun! I’m reminded of composers and their variations 🙂
That’s inventive.
Hi. Neat! A very ‘careful’ poem … I think it is because of the ‘just so’. Jane
I cant tell you how much I LOVE these verses! I am a huge sky watcher and lover of clouds, adore the photo and the words are perfection, each verse. I think my fave is the first but it was cool to see the change of word placement in subsequent verses. Way cool.
Thanks, Sherry. I must confess I am a little enamored of this too. I keep wanting to do more revisions just to see where they will take me – I think I may happily follow – so maybe more re-visions to come!