The week ends

October twilight
The week ends.

Sun falling beyond the western ridge.
Gilding the few clouds in gold,
tinged in dusty mauve and lavender.

I weep.

Trying to release it all
in a few stolen moments on the porch
while the shrimp bubble in the creole sauce
and the bread warms.

Exposed on the south and west by old rattlely windows,
the porch gives the twilight permission
to sit for a few moments in the old rocking chair
as the first bats sweep across the darkling sky.

I walk in and stir the rice.
I wash my face
and modulate my voice, removing the weariness and panic.
No sense in letting on.

I am tied to this life.
Chosen or saddled,
it is my path.
The gate to my freedom only opened by her death.

Fairness has nothing to do with it.

17 thoughts on “The week ends

  1. it can be a good thing to indulge in a bit of a cry every now and again… sometimes it’s needed I think to allow for a necessary emotional realignment so we can get on with what needs getting on with

    will be thinking of you… be well 🙂

  2. it sounds like a difficult time you’re going through.. seeing someone suffer so much can take us to the edge in many ways… wishing you much strength and sending big hugs kathleen….

  3. I can’t say I know exactly what you mean, since our personal experiences are, well, personal. But I know what you mean. Such an accurate, painfully beautiful rendering of how life feels sometimes.

  4. Oh Kathleen. This poem goes deep. I so know the feeling of private tears, outward calm and strength, the underlying panic, the weight, yet the only way to release the weight is to lose someone incredibly beloved. Nothing fair about life, for sure. A powerful write, straight from the heart. I LOVE the “darkling sky”. Your photo of the evening sky is absolutely gorgeous. I think a sky like that can get you through just fine. As would shrimp creole, you make good dinners for a working gal! A beautiful poem.

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