Trying to Gain Perspective

Posted on July 16, 2013 by The Course of Our Seasons

It’s those moments when you are driving to work or riding the train or walking the dog
when just in the corner of your eye
you see it
that’s life
well, maybe not your life
that would be presumptuous of me
maybe my life
no, that’s not it

it’s as if you put your hands in your pockets
and there is a packet of magic beans or fairy dust or
an old skeleton key that opens a secret door
no
it’s not like that at all

I used to think that I could create my life
I could get a roll of butcher paper and roll it out and lie down and getting a marker,
draw around myself
and from that pattern, I could sew days and seasons to fit just right
but that’s not life

life is bone and blood and spit and shit

and birdsong

don’t forget birdsong

life is waking in that dark hour right before dawn leaning against your warmth
hearing you breathe
feeling your heartbeat
and knowing I have
one
more
day

*** I dreamed this poem last night and woke to it completely formed. Hardly ever happens that way. But after spending Friday in the ER thinking I was having a heart attack (I’m fine, really – one more stress test next week – but I am fine…. really) And celebrating Bob’s birthday in a really really big way (post and photos to come) this must be what my subconscious was busy doing.

35 thoughts on “Trying to Gain Perspective”

andrewjgeary on July 27, 2013 at 9:05 pm said:

This is an interesting use of form. After the first couple of lines, the abrupt change to the shorter lines almost makes it seem like time slows “you see it” is a great line because of this. Good stuff.

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Shainbird on July 18, 2013 at 1:35 am said:

This is lovely, full of truths. I love the last lines, I’m glad to hear your fine, stay with it.

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kelvin s.m. on July 17, 2013 at 8:17 pm said:

…i am all about bird songs… the only day i know i can no longer hear one is the day i no longer breathe… loved this… smiles…

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Beth Winter on July 17, 2013 at 12:14 pm said:

I love those poems that come from the subconscious. I’ve woken to find that I tapped poems into my cell phone as I slept so I know your sense of wonder. This is beautiful.

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SSMatthews on July 17, 2013 at 10:56 am said:

I love the continually adjusting perspective, rejection and search anew!

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ebbtide on July 17, 2013 at 9:44 am said:

!!!!!!

First, the poem is gorgeous and REAL and unflnching. Second, don’t forget the birdsong – I love that. Third, ER?! Oh dear, I’m so sorry… I hope all goes well with the stress test and that maybe it was just a one-time event. Will be thinking of you – I know you could use a break.

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1emeraldcity on July 17, 2013 at 2:24 am said:

Glad you’re okay, K! This one nearly took my breath away…That tracing yourself on brown butcher paper…an ingenious touch…Great write…please stay well :)) xo

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Susan L Daniels on July 16, 2013 at 11:12 pm said:

K, great poem, and so very glad you are okay.

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Mama Zen on July 16, 2013 at 9:42 pm said:

This is brilliant work. I truly adore this.

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j matthew waters on July 16, 2013 at 8:19 pm said:

So nice to have you back, K – I was just thinking about you the other day wondering when I will read your next poem. This one is just beautiful and breathtaking. I too found myself in the ER four Mondays ago unable to walk when I awoke at 5:00 a.m. Eleven days ago I had lower disc compression surgery. I too am doing quite fine now (walking pain free and even riding my bike again) and I’m so very happy knowing you are doing just as well. ps: I will keep you posted on the columbine seeds ;`)

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 10:47 pm said:
  
  Well, my word, John! So happy you were able to have surgery and have had such a swift recovery – unable to walk – how frightening is that! Thanks, my dear friend, for your kindness. I will await news of the columbine – smiles – K
  
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kelly on July 16, 2013 at 6:59 pm said:

The birdsong…. That sang right out to me, this is life, the good, the bad, the ugly, framed by moments of exquisite beauty.
Glad you are okay!

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Victoria C. Slotto on July 16, 2013 at 6:12 pm said:

What a gift, Kathleen. I’ve had a few of those dream-poems and an outline for my second novel came that way. But I can see how you were ready for this beautiful poem to manifest. Be well.

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Tony Maude on July 16, 2013 at 4:28 pm said:

I also meant to say that I’m glad you are fine; life can throw some scary moments at us when we least expect them – no, we never expect them.

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Tony Maude on July 16, 2013 at 4:27 pm said:

Like many others, my favourite part is:

life is bone and blood and spit and shit

and birdsong

don’t forget birdsong

I love the instruction not to forget the good parts – something some of us (and I am one of them) are rather too prone to doing.

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Rowan Taw on July 16, 2013 at 4:16 pm said:

I do hope the tests turn out okay. I loved the conversational style, and I found it particularly appealing as it reminded me of Janet Frame.

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Pamela on July 16, 2013 at 4:15 pm said:

I love when I get my dreams down on paper. This is really good, Kathleen.

Pamela

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Björn Rudberg (brudberg) on July 16, 2013 at 3:35 pm said:

First of all, I’m glad you’re ok.. and then that repeated birdsong. just awesome..

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Colleen on July 16, 2013 at 2:36 pm said:

The end gave me goosebumps!

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Mary on July 16, 2013 at 2:22 pm said:

How wonderful that you DREAMED this poem. What a gift!

” life is bone and blood and spit and shit
and birdsong
don’t forget birdsong ”

Yes, you surely have THAT right. I like the reminder not to forget the birdsong. THAT’s what makes so much tolerable!

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jessicamarie19 on July 16, 2013 at 2:16 pm said:

Stanza 3 – favorite by far 🙂

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poemblaze on July 16, 2013 at 1:22 pm said:

a wonderfully heartfelt poem

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 1:54 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Matt – I’m still thinking about that resistible man – just so great – K
  
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artsifrtsy on July 16, 2013 at 12:31 pm said:

And Birdsongs – sometimes I am so glad for them! I hope you are feeling better, what a terrifying experience. Life can change in an instant. Raw and beautiful.

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 1:40 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Lorri – so appreciate it! K
  
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brian miller on July 16, 2013 at 12:14 pm said:

life is bone and blood and spit and shit
and birdsong…its the good and bad…its magic at times but not always…it happens…sometimes out the corner of our eye…and sometimes it just hits us like a run away car…..i am glad you are ok…that is way scary…

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 1:39 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Brian – it was way scary but good too, in a way and yes, I am ok – smiles K
  
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claudia on July 16, 2013 at 10:52 am said:

yep…that sounds much like life…love all the images….esp…
it’s as if you put your hands in your pockets
and there is a packet of magic beans or fairy dust or
an old skeleton key that opens a secret door…but also the…bone and blood and spit and shit…ha…

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 1:33 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Claudia – always appreciate your time and kindness. K
  
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Sharon Bernitz on July 16, 2013 at 10:21 am said:

I like this and it is so very true. We all learn that our lives can turn on a dime, be it for good or for bad. We must still be grateful to have that one more day and make it as good as we can for ourselves and others.

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 1:27 pm said:
  
  Thanks, Sharon – love you – K
  
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Louise on July 16, 2013 at 9:32 am said:

This is raw and real poetry, straight from the heart…I certainly can relate. Life sure does throw us in a spin sometimes…glad to hear you’re okay. x

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 1:27 pm said:
  
  Thank you, Louise. Appreciate your kind words – and congrats on your badger book – so happy for your success! K
  
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weavers journaler on July 16, 2013 at 6:10 am said:

A wonderful perspective!

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- The Course of Our Seasons on July 16, 2013 at 1:26 pm said:
  
  Thanks so much – K
  
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