Is it too trite
That the river
For our love?
And to use the old saying that
You never step into the same river twice?
Because it is
Driving through the dark Ozarks night,
Following the hollows along the river,
A young couple in our headlights-
Wet, walking hand in hand-
Coming up from a midnight swim.
Suddenly, I am transported-
I am that girl-
Shy, bold and holding your hand,
Feeling your wet skin for the first time,
The rush of the river,
The rush of the newness.
Then, I laugh and see myself
Reflected in your laughing eyes
Illuminated by the dashboard lights.
We drive towards home,
Splashing in the river.
Oh, Kathleen, I adore this one – so sweet and full of passion
I am happy you liked it – told my husband it was almost what I wanted to say, almost how I wanted to say it – and that is just about as close as I can get when writing! K
Nice use of the methphor and chanced meeting to explore feelings
Thank you – I appreciate your time and comment. K
so very lovely!!!
Thank you so very much – K
Hi, Kathleen, I was so glad to find you on Twitter! 🙂
This is so lovely. I adore your tiny, jarring lines at the beginning. 🙂
I’m happy you liked them. Wrote it that way then tried it without and it wasn’t right. Thanks so much. K
A cooling, refreshing splash of a poem on a hot night.
Thanks – I happy you liked it. K
Sweet, lovely memory!
Thanks Laurie. K
Summer love and romance is such a beautiful thing… especially when it’s reflected in your love’s eyes!
It is a beautiful thing – thanks so much for dropping by! K
My goodness, I’m speechless. beautifully written, rather beautifully wrapped the sheer timeless love, in absolute words. Loved it.
Hard to beat a comment like that! Thanks so much – it means a great deal to me. K
Ah … we all need to splash through that river …
Yes we do! Thanks
smiles…you two have a beautiful kinda love….i like the pogression of this and how you go from the river to the couple to yourselves and a reflection on your love….really nice ma’am
Well, thank you, sir! K
That metaphor carried me in its current.
Thanks Susan – loved your poem too! K
There could never, ever, be anything trite about love and, this was a wonderfully visual read. Rivers (any water) is magical, isn’t it.
Yes, it is! Thanks so much – K
Lovely moment here – both for the couple and you as couple and us as readers, everything reflective. k.
Thank you – I so appreciate your kind words. K
love it..what a great capture of the scene.. the car drive, the young couple in the headlights and the story just flows together and everything makes perfect sense…love that sense of closeness…and wanna go for a midnight swim now…smiles
Thanks so much, Claudia. K
It’s certainly not trite if it’s true! And it sounds like your river of love is still flowing… 🙂
Thanks – we try! K