counting

Stellas

there are days
that counting your blessings
takes a bit longer
dwelling on the good
out of the difficult
the smiles
after tears
the relaxation of strained backs
after a long day

it takes a while
to remember the day
could have been different
and grief’s shade
could be shadowing our doorway

but the beautiful angel passed over
our marked lintel

and, for a while,
we are whole
and together
still

*** Counting my blessings today and among those are you, dear reader, for your kindness and thoughtful notes holding us up. Mom is better, still very weak, but better. We have a someone now who will stay with her while I am at work and the family is coming in every weekend to give us help and time away. So after several weeks, we are counting blessings with each new day.

seasons change

Autumn on the lake

August heat rises into the cedar,
releasing their fragrant resinous perfume.
Cicadas hum in drowsy waves,
leaving the afternoon nodding .

Light has changed in late summer.
The casting of shadows and lots
conjure the last heat of the season
with hints of the coming autumn.

Her blood pressure rises and falls
with the changing of the trees-
their leaves have turned with a suddenness,
catching us all off guard

We wake to her breathing in the early dark.
The earth’s slight tilt spins the light
later each morning, rousing her
into this dreaming world once again.

From Spring’s promise to Winter’s frailty,
we hold each season fast to our hearts-
with breath and blood, light and leaves,
we witness her passing.

*** For dVerse Meeting the Bar. May be a bit trite – the changing of life and the seasons – but it is my reality now. Thank you all for your sweet comments and prayers for Mom. She is holding her own. K

a quiet moment

A winters sunset

Well, it has been a week of worry and long days and short nights, but Mom is better. She broke her leg a week ago Friday. Brought her home that night and everything seemed okay—

Then she reacted to the pain medication and we almost lost her.

She lost her way for a while, but is slowly finding her path back home. It was a heartbreaking day on Sunday, when she didn’t know who or where she was or who I was – particularly heartbreaking to see her so confused.

I believe sometime on Tuesday, she chose to stay with us and each day she has gained a tiny bit of herself back.

Still very weak and of course with a big heavy cast on her left leg, she can’t move without help. We are looking for someone to stay with her during the day while I am at work. And due to being at the end of the earth here in the Ozarks, it is hard to find folks willing to drive all this way.

But I remind myself, it has only been a week – so each day more and more will fall into place until finally we are back to a regular old normal day to day routine.

We are so grateful for your kind thoughts and prayers – each one has been a bright candle in our dark days. Please continue to shine your light –

Love
K

Keep in touch

rosebud

I will be away for a while, dear readers. My mom broke her leg and is home but we are dealing with hospice care now. It will take me a few weeks to get things sorted out, with schedules and help to make her comfortable.

So I will check in sporadically and appreciate your prayers and good thoughts.

Remember to be kind, say please and thank you and always hold hands when crossing the road.

K

easy in the going

She waits
for the word to come down
her train is leaving soon -
ticket purchased
and held tightly
in her beautiful hands .

(parchment pale hands,
thin and strong,
that once held such powerful music
and in all the keys,
she played our lives
so that we were formed
by the sound of her heart)

She waits for the bells to toll
and for the band to start -
she is easy in the going
and longing
for the gentle rocking of the rails.

Song of Songs – There I Will Abide

love birds#5 (3)
I
And there I will abide
Abide seems to be a word
filled with soft meaning
and deep intent
I will abide
belong, rest, take comfort, dwell,
I will abide
withstand, endure, await, sojourn
accepting without hesitation
I will abide

II
My love is my abode
His limbs pillars of fragrant cedar
To shield me in my rest
His arms are oaks of sinew and might
Silver is on his head
Burnished and gleaming
Sapphire his eyes
More beautiful than the morning sky
His heart of precious stones
More valuable than the kings stores
He calls my name
And I am safe
My love is my love
And there I will abide

*** in honor of our 33rd anniversary – I love you